The trauma didn’t just happen to you, it becomes who you are. This is self-pity.Ī victim mentality, on the other hand, means you identify with your status of a victim and become reliant on pity. Or feel powerless in the face of a challenge like a bereavement or divorce. It’s also perfectly normal to feel sorry for yourself every once in a while. Any thought that it’s somehow your fault and you are responsible is obviously erroneous thinking. In such a case you have every right to feel that things were out of your control, because they were. You might experience a crime, such as fraud, or even sexual assault. Being a Victim vs Self Pity vs Victim Mentalityīad things can certainly happen in life. You might also blame many things on circumstances, which you see as always unfair. This means you blame your challenges in life on others around you, even if you can’t prove their negative actions. That life happens TO us, rather than the idea that we are choosing and creating it in any way. We are the innocent person, and the bad things are outside of ourselves.Īnd, most importantly, we believe we are powerless to do anything in the face of all this ‘badness’. When we have a victim mentality, we see the world through a lens of good versus bad. Had a tough life? And sometimes feel like you can’t get ahead, no matter how hard you try? Because the world is just too terrible and dangerous? You might be trapped in the victim mentality.
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